TWK overseas correspondent Andy Brown flew out to Dubai to report on the world famous ‘Globe Islands’, and found theres more to the Metropolis than meets the eye.
A tiny set of islands located off the coast of Dubai. They look like the Earth. New plans suggest that a new set of islands, to mimic the Moon are to be built next door, in the Sea of Tranquillity, so why the fuss?
Known locally as the ‘Flawless Islands’ (a turn of phrase used extensively by civil engineers to describe their foundation type, whilst simultaneously describing their beauty), they contain various small islands to make what is essentially a ‘giant art attack’, if seen from Space – something Neil Buchanan would be extremely proud of.
World Islands, Dubai – Neil Buchanan would jizz in his pants.
Local expat, Dick Vieney, moved to the island habitat 7 years ago, and says that something is not quite right in the waters.
“When we first came here the place was a dream. You could shout happily to your neighbours across the waters, and expect to hear a muffled response within say 2 to 3 minutes. I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve relied on my neighbours from number 52a (next door) for spare sugar at a cost of a few hundred dollars, they were a mere 90 foot from my front door. You could park a ship between our islands, literally!”
Unfortunately due to construction subsidence, and changing tides, the distance between Dick and his ‘neighbours’ is now almost 1000 feet and regular passing of sugar now costs £1 million dollars minimum. This has lead to a rare degenerative medical condition where his understanding in the value of money has slowly declined over the years, known in the medical world as “lirazerosis”.
Dick said “it makes that gameshow ‘Who wants be an Italian Millionaire?’ look like a reality TV show!”
However, now in an ironic twist of fate, and unbeknown to the civil engineers who designed the islands, the construction subsidence has lead to a ‘real-time’ model on how the world would look from 2056 when global warming hits its peak and global sea level rise had taken full effect on the planets terra firma, leading to acclaimed awards for the failing construction project. The islands had recently been applauded by those in the engineering sector, the project winning the Institute of Civil Engineer Project of the Year Award for 2056, a mere 44 years before its existence!
Lead global warming expert, Professor D. Icer, said in a statement to the National Science Council “to predict what the Earth would like like in 2056 down to the finest detail is astounding, how a team takes both soil engineering properties together with global warming mechanisms and amalgamates the two sciences is beyond me”.
Global Warming: Making driving a bit harder than usual.
This has lead to various universities across the United States begin practising new Bachelor Degrees in the hybrid science ‘Pedometoscopsodology’ and has proved immensely popular with new students.
19 year old doofus Roger Knoshmeov said “i hadnt even heard of the subject before, it blows me and my friends away. Every time”