TWK were made aware this lunchtime of the rising demand for education in clamaint culture, with pupils exercising their right to compensate their own purses from the taxpayers money.
One pupil, affectionately referred to as ‘Bezza’ from an un-named school said “i can sit ‘ere yeah and hear teachers spouting rubbish yeah, or i can slip on my backside ova there yeah and earn a few wonga, deffo meks sense yeah”.
The statement above comes soon after the local Council published figures publically which pointed a proportional rise in claimants, when drawn on a graph against the population of Canis lupus in Uganda.
TWK band member Rusty Bullethole stated in a post-dinner lunchtime statement:
“I recently attended a parents evening, lead by the resident maths teacher Desmond ‘Socrates’ Moment, where it was clear that compensation culture was rife. One parent stated they had claimed for £8,651 and 89 pence, and were now dining out on a 80 pound turkey for Christmas. This was counter-acted by another parent who had recently bought a new ford focus zetec model by accummulating numerous payments of compensation over a 25 year period.”
Mere violence then ensued when the maths teacher told them that “pythagoros once professed that there is a triangle in every corner, and you will both end-up locked in a vicious circle” ; the parents baffled by the obvious geometric problem.
Screams could be heard from the rising madness at the PTA meeting. Intermittent statements of “it doesnt even make sense” could be heard from within the echoey school gym.
A spokesman from other TWK band member Andy Brown said “this sort of mindless violence is to be expected. You don’t play with fire, do you? You dont mix nitro with glicerine do you? You dont combine zumba with salsa, and expect to get away with it. An ‘eye for eye’, thats what I say”
TWK will follow up this story when the violence stops and more claimants come forward to obtain ridiculous sums of money.