It has been announced today by Prime Minister Mr David Cameron has PROMISED that there will “Deffo be a reffo on the Euro, THIS TIME, deffo fo sho’, no shit.”. Roving political reporter for TWK, Rusty Bullethole, distends…
It has been a long haul to the ‘half-time’ of the coalition but here we are. Now then, if you cast your mind back we were promised (among a whole load of other fairy dust) a Euro referendum. Could I careless if we had one or not? No, not really, it’ll be rigged anyhow.
The point here being that we were going to have one because he promised this, that and inevitably the other. Along with a billion other things this has yet to, and clearly will not precipitate out of the ether. Even though the beginning of the second half is only just under way we are seeing lamentable attitudes and the promise of, “well, deffo fo’ next time we will have it ‘cos like I total-ee forgot man.” However, lest we forget, the man sees himself as ‘one of us’.
Nevertheless, bribes were offered to us for our vote including: free porn for the dead, a Blue Peter Badge for all of those affected by the Jimmy Savile case and a free EU passport for all illegal immigrants that promise to head immediately to France. Governmental insider Andrew Brown has intimated toward government backed gangs to round up the immigrants for a quick tick on forged ballot sheets in return for safe passage to France and a Big Mac. The head of French Government Intelligence, Andre Marron, has said the release of intoxicating gases across the channel was indeed an attempt to halt the surge of Experienced Car Valet Technicians to Calais and Dieppe.
Although there is no mention of war yet, it is probably imminent.