No Movement for Weasels on Deadline Day – official statement from WeaselOffice. Despite the cold it seems that transfer rumours are rife although there has been an unambiguous statement from the WeaselOffice.

Early season rumours of various movements in and out of the weasel fold were today quashed like a Ryan Giggs Shag Story. “There may be a possibility for a temporary loan out but that would be on a gig-by-gig basis and it would be in the short term as we need our full squad for the upcoming fixtures.”, said reserve team coach Rusty Bullethole.

It has been rumoured that there may be a loan signing coming in to the Weasel fold but again the WeaselOffice has been very cagey about this, possibly to put other suitors off the scent. “We like to do our business in private.”, noted head coach Andy Brown. “I don’t like my business to be smeared all over for the public to see. I like keeping my business close to me. I know my business and I like it. Others can see my business when the time is right but until then my business is my own and what I do with it is of little concern to anyone else.”, spouted the guitar player.

“I’ve seen Andy do his business before. It’s worth watching, he’s got better at it over the years. Especially at this point in the season. If you want a lesson in how to do your business, then watch this man. You could watch him do his business all week and still be learning stuff on Friday afternoon. The shear amount of business sometimes can be quite amazing.” [Rusty Bullethole]

Andrew Brown – As strict as team coaches get

Rusty Bullethole once had a half season as a professional at League Two side Fostock Argonauts. Enjoying his time there back in the heady days of 1987 Bullethole  went on to make several appearances at other League Two grounds until injury forced an early retirement. Speaking about Bullethole on Football Focus Gary Lineker said he had rarely met anyone like Bullethole and there has not been a better floodlight lightbulb replacement technician since. “I’ve not been the same since I bent my fingers, but I can still look back on those good times.”

You can read the full story in the forthcoming book “Bullethole – 400 Watts, 13 Amps but One Way of Life”. Available nowhere soon.