The former love affair of a once coveted frontier slowly dwindled until a man, named only as ‘Ted’, bought it for a singular English Pound last year. Now ‘Ted’ has become a multi-billionaire after selling his vast portfolio to Google. Astronomer Royale Rusty Bullethole precipitates:
Since its origin in the Universe Factory outer space has been growing at a rate second only to that of the population of the small and over-crowded United Island of Britain. Local authorities from around the world will gather in a small portakabin in Newark today in order to debate ‘outer space and its role within Big Society’.
With proposals such as housing our paedophiles to the dumping of radioactive waste the use of space has been for a longtime widely debated and to some extent crticised.
Space – fairly empty as it goes
“God sure ain’t short of a cupboard!”, mooted Andrew Brown in the lead article in the religious journal “Ignorama”. He continued: “…since its formation a few years ago, space has continued to expand and expand. The question is who is going to stop it? We didn’t have this problem 6000 years ago when it all started.”
Sure enough it has now become somewhat of a talking point between scientists and governing authorities as to how quickly space is exapnding and what it means to the population of the world, hence the need for urgent discussion. Newark being the marked centre of the universe seemed like a natural choice.
Newark – yes, it is an anagram of wanker.
Ted is a rich man and Google, who were once complaining of a lack of space for their servers, are now rich in not one, not two but three whole dimensions and maybe more. As astronomer royale I can honestly say don’t know what threat space poses but I can summarise in the words of Andrew Brown, “We could shoot it, or we could blow it up. We should probably do both.”
Multi-billionaire Ted was found on the floor of his bank rolling around pointing at people and crying with laughter, pointing some more and continuing to laugh.
