Next month sees the launch of the much awaited real-time game “Talkback”. However, skeptics have denounced the new piece of entertainment software and there is fear that a retail backlash will prevent the launch of the game itself.
Talkback will cost in the region of £45, equivalent to a gram of coke, from most good sellers…IF it is realeased. So what is it and what’s all the hubub?
TWK gaming expert Rusty Bullethole investigates.
“It is essentially a marriage guidance game. It is a 2 player interaction game where the partners each wear a headset and communicate with each other via cartoonised characters on the screen. It takes the edge off of situations as when the characters are conversing they do cute things like dance therefore making the conversation between the two characters less tense.”
So how does it work and what are the benefits from this? TWK relationship counsellor Andy Brown goes into unnecessary detail.
“Definitely a tension diffuser, the game centres around the two characters exploring a pretend and magical world and stimulates conversation that enhances the teamwork required to complete the game.” spurted the string basher during a monumental washing up campaign.
“The game stimualtes interaction between the two characters and there are an array of objects, puzzles, tasks and tests for the ‘couple’ to complete. The developers clearly see the goal as completing the game will result in a better relationship where expression becomes paramount and understanding is comprehensive. Why do you think I’m washing up?”
When asked if there had been a noticeable improvement in his relationship with the wife he pointed to the sink again and said, “all roads lead to sex and I’m a 24 hour drivin’ man” [cue repeated thrusting movement of abdomen]. We assume he will be avoiding toll roads.
Game developer Tommy Disfiger of FCP Games, noted skeptics of Talkback, made this statement:
“Computer games aren’t about communication and interaction, they are about solitude and generating recluses in order to reduce the population. How are we going to cope if people have working relationships? What happens to all the lawyers?”
Tommy went on further to explain potentially devastating pitfalls:
“What if it doesn’t work. Frustration creeps in and before you know it the sirens are wailing. We could end up with wireless controllers being used as implements in anal rape and who would want to touch the controller after that?”.
Talkback will be not be available in all stores by the end of Octember.